


A Bump in the Road

by melonbutterfly



Series: Best (Worst) Possible Time [6]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Jealousy, M/M, Meditation, Possessive Behavior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-13
Updated: 2013-08-13
Packaged: 2017-12-23 09:03:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/924502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melonbutterfly/pseuds/melonbutterfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Really, this was bound to happen eventually. Even knowing that, though, Tony isn't at all prepared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Bump in the Road

**Author's Note:**

> My sincerest apologies for the long wait.

"Mr. Stark, Director Fury is calling."

Tony lifts his head from Loki's chest to glare at nothing. "What? Seriously?" He sits up, abruptly furious. "It's not even been two weeks, what the hell?"

"Is two weeks after meeting a significant date?" Loki inquires, sitting up as well and carding his fingers through Tony's hair at the back of his head. The touch is somewhat calming, but not by much. Fury had never respected Tony – had in fact actively disliked and disrespected him – but that had been mutual, and Tony hadn't thought the man would be this disrespectful of not only Tony himself but of his bonding, of Loki. Though, all things considered, he probably shouldn't be surprised.

"Sort of, but not officially," he absently answers Loki's question. "It's just taboo to contact a pair within bonding and because of the laws about pair bond interference it's also a legal grey zone, and the two week mark isn't really significant but it's just even more taboo before that." Capturing Loki's hand, Tony slots their fingers together and frowns at the wall before addressing JARVIS. "What does he want?"

"He wishes to discuss "recent events"," JARVIS reports and Tony hears the direct quote, knows what that means.

Remembering how Fury had refused to open the cage when Tony had asked – how he'd put Loki in there in the first place and yeah, he hadn't known about Loki's being a Sentinel but as soon as he realized he should have let Loki out of there no questions asked – counters the calming effect Loki's touch had had. "Put him on," he orders, barely managing to keep his tone in check. As soon as JARVIS puts Fury through he's done with that and growls, "What do you want?"

"Stark," Fury says, and he doesn't sound too pissy, which isn't a good sign; that's the tone of voice Fury uses when he's about to pull one over Tony. "Loki around?"

"I repeat, what do you want?" Tony demands, putting one hand on Loki's thigh. He's not going to ask again.

"I'm calling to discuss the charges to be levied against both you and Loki." Fury is decidedly smug now. "And what you will do in order to make this go away instead."

Tony is so furious he can barely breathe for a moment. "What charges?"

"Malicious injury to property in the form of the town of Puento Antiguo and SHIELD's base in Texas, actual bodily harm in seventy-two cases, grievous bodily harm in seven cases, wanton endangerment in three hundred eighty-three cases, attempted murder in one case and prison breach. Personally I'd slap some form of moral turpitude on top of it all but that in itself is unfortunately not against the law." Fury sounds very self-satisfied with it all. "You are accused of assisting escape, computer hacking, data theft, theft of classified information, impinging on and distribution of data you have no legal clearance for, breaking and entering and theft."

"Theft," Tony repeats despite his knowing better; it just slips out. He knows he shouldn't address any of this but anything but the theft charge against him makes some sort of sense, depending on how you look at it anyway.

"You absconded with SHIELD property without permission." Fury sounds like the cat who got the canary and the cream and Tony wants to hit him. He takes a deep breath and buries his feelings the way he's learned in training.

As he calms down a little a thought occurs to him and Tony narrows his eyes, getting suspicious. "To what property are you referring?"

"Why, you stole more than one prisoner?"

Oh, that- if Fury were within reach right now Tony would jump on him and strangle the guy; he can't even put to words how absolutely furious he is right now. To call Loki property – to call him _SHIELD property-_

Loki's mouth pushes into his hair and his breath is warm and hot against Tony's skin when he breathes out. It distracts Tony for only a moment, just long enough for him to maintain his composure.

"You will hear from our lawyer," he says, managing to keep his voice level, and has JARVIS cut the connection before either he or Fury can say anything else. After that he manages to keep control of his temper for two pointedly calm breaths but that's as far as he gets; launching off the bed, Tony starts to pace furiously, hands balled into tight fists.

"Would you like for me to handle this?" Loki offers calmly. He doesn't need to put it to words to make it very clear what he means, and Tony stills as he honestly considers the possibility for a moment. There is no denying that he likes the thought – Fury gone, never to disrespect Tony or his Sentinel ever again – but in the end there is little practicality to it. They'll still have to deal with SHIELD, after all, and any hope of some sort of reasonably equal relationship with the organization would be out the window if they took out Fury. The consequences of that just aren't worth it.

Not that he's seriously considering it. In the end, he's not really into assassinations. Weakly, he smiles at Loki. "Not really feasible, though I appreciate the sentiment." He thinks for a moment. "I'm gonna call my lawyer. She has balls of steel and she'll take care of this."

*

Two hours later Tony has explained the situation to his lawyer and she has immediately taken to action, practically interrogating them and then calling Fury in a video conference that Tony and Loki sit in on, though without video feedback from their end. Five minutes into the call and all of Fury's smugness has evaporated.

Evelyn Fisher smiles sweetly; it's the sort of smile that makes everyone who knows her very wary. "If you should go to court with those frankly outrageous accusations, we will plead insanity."

"You can't seriously think you'll get away with that," Fury growls. "A whole town destroyed and it won't matter how insane he is; nobody's gonna believe he's innocent."

"By human standards perhaps, but we are playing with gods now; the scales are bound to be disproportionate compared to what we're used to," Fisher returns, unimpressed. "Even discounting that, are you trying to tell me that a Sentinel who has been without his Guide for over a thousand years is of completely sound mind and can be held accountable for his actions? Especially after what little support he had was just taken away from him?"

"You'd think that after a thousand years he'd be used to being on his own," Fury returns, crossing his arms.

"No jury would go for that and you know it." Fisher raises an eyebrow. "Here's the deal, Director: as you well know, the accusations leveled against Mr. Stark won't hold. Any and all crimes committed during the immediate pre-bonding phase, especially in an effort to unite when purposefully prevented from doing so, are null and void in any court of law. However, despite the fact that at the time of the... unfortunate incidents Mr. Stark and Mr. Laufeyson were not yet bonded and thus cannot be held accountable as a pair yet, Mr. Stark has magnanimously offered to pay for any reparations afforded to the citizens of Puento Antiguo, for the damages made to SHIELD's base and for the medical bills of anyone that was injured."

"That's all?" Fury raises an eyebrow. "What about next time the guy goes crazy? Money doesn't fix everything."

"Mr. Laufeyson is a lot more stable now that he has bonded." Fisher's smile is all teeth.

With a growl, Fury leans forwards. "I want both of them as consultants for SHIELD."

"Mr. Stark's consultancy contract stands," Fisher says, "and of course I will have to draw up a contract with Mr. Laufeyson first."

"I ain't paying either of them this time."

"Both Mr. Stark and Mr. Laufeyson's time is limited and highly valuable and if they are to make SHIELD's requests a priority, they will naturally require to be compensated for the loss of income." Fisher raises an eyebrow. They'd been through this song and dance before; the first time around Fury had refused to pay Tony for consulting and had tried to strong-arm him into doing it for free. In turn Tony had refused to answer SHIELD's requests in a timely manner. Meaning: he'd let at least a week pass between getting the request and answering it, depending on how urgent he himself deemed the matter, and he'd always answer it at an inopportune moment resulting in a lot of people getting woken up at three am, and he never had enough time to finish what he started. There had been a little tug-o-war between him and SHIELD about it all but eventually Fury had had to grudgingly give in and agree to pay Tony, and pay him what he was worth because Tony wasn't making compromises on his fee: it was high but he was certainly worth every penny. So much so, in fact, that it could definitely be higher. He wasn't being charitable with his fee for SHIELD, but he was being generous. The same is going to hold true for Loki; hell, if they can get away with it Tony's going to demand even more for Loki's time, considering how invaluable a resource he is. There is nobody with his skill set even on the planet, much less available to SHIELD.

Fury postures some more and Fisher's smiles turn sweeter by the minute until Fury eventually hangs up. Once his screen turns black Tony waits a second and then another before he can't keep up the pretense a moment longer; he hiccups, coughs and then breaks out into helpless laughter.

"I take it that went to your satisfaction," Fisher eventually says, having switched off the video and after giving Tony a minute to calm down. Which he doesn't; this was just too good, Fury's _face_ , Jesus. Loki sits next to him and watches with faint amusement.

"Yes," Tony eventually manages to gasp. "Good job. Thanks." God, there are few things more amusing than watching his lawyer hand Fury's balls to him.

"Glad you approve," Fisher says dryly. "Should I draft a contract for Loki's consultation with SHIELD? And amend yours, now that you're bonded?"

"Yes," Tony giggles, then clears his throat. "Yes. That would be good. Thanks."

"Which areas would Loki consult in?"

Tony looks at Loki and raises an eyebrow.

"Magic," Loki says, taking Tony's hand and twining their fingers.

"Yes…" She pauses delicately. "That's a bit broad and mysterious though, could you go a bit into detail?"

Raising one eyebrow, Loki shakes his head. "Not really. Magic is a broad and uncalculateable area, after all."

"Oh, that's good, I can write that into the contract. We'll base your fee on time and effort spent, then."

"What she means is that in effect you can decide for yourself how much you want to earn with each job," Tony adds with a smirk.

Loki looks at him for a moment, then nods abruptly. "Very well."

"Good. I'll draft a contract and send it to you within the next couple of days; I think we should speed this up before SHIELD can come up with something," Fisher says and then hangs up.

Tony grins and leans back in his chair. "That went great, didn't it?"

"It appears so," Loki replies a bit neutrally. Tony blinks and tilts his head; Loki isn't quite as enthusiastic as Tony would expect. Sure, SHIELD didn't have as much leverage as Fury was pretending, but they could have caused them quite a bit of trouble especially considering what Loki did in Puento Antiguo. Which… Tony still doesn't really know what happened. Granted, he didn't really ask because it's very clear that whatever happened, Loki isn't even close to dealing with it, but he can tell that Loki feels a certain amount of regret about the whole thing and even a little guilt. Maybe not necessarily about the consequences of his actions, but it's still enough for Tony.

Frowning a little, Tony opens his mouth to address it – why Loki doesn't seem to care much either way how the confrontation between Fisher and Fury went – but before he can say anything the phone rings. As in, JARVIS says, "Mr. Stark, apologies, Miss Potts is calling. She says it's urgent."

Tony just barely manages to keep the grimace at bay as Loki's expression cools even more. "Okay?" Loki doesn't move for a moment. Eventually his head tilts almost imperceptively and Tony takes that as agreement – or rather, it's as much agreement as he's willing to wait for; it's not like he strictly speaking needs Loki's permission. "Put her on, JARVIS. Pepper?"

"Tony? I heard there's something going on with Fury, what happened? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah." Tony glances at Loki. "We're okay. Just some maneuvering, Fisher took care of it."

"I can't believe it," Pepper huffs. "It's not even been two weeks! Are you okay? Is Loki okay?"

"I think so," Tony replies. "Seriously though, what an asshole."

"Not just an asshole, that has to be against some sort of rule, seriously. There is no law, I know, I checked, but contacting you this soon was a serious breach of etiquette."

"Does that include anybody contacting us at this time?" Loki asks silkily. Tony stills and looks at him, caught a little off-guard, but really he shouldn't be surprised. He himself isn't happy that people are contacting them at a time like this, but he's okay with it being Pepper – which is all the more reason for Loki to be unhappy about it, really.

Tony expects Pepper to react to that – she really isn't someone to keep her mouth shut – but instead she's silent for a moment and then says, "Yes. Yes, it does. I just wanted to make sure you two are okay. I'm sorry. Just let me know if you need anything, okay?" She hangs up without waiting for a reply; it's a gut reaction for Tony to cringe. A moment later he regrets it because Loki's eyes are narrowed on him.

"Look-" Tony starts, not sure what he's going to say but feeling the need to placate somehow, but he's interrupted once more by JARVIS.

"Sir, my apologies, but the SGC is calling."

"Jesus fucking Christ," Tony growls and glares. "Sorry, we have to take this, it's the law. What?"

"Mr. Stark," a voice says, "This is Magita Feenline from the legal department of the Sentinel-Guide Centre. It has come to our attention that you and your Sentinel have been contacted out of order. Is this correct?"

"Yes," Tony confirms.

"You are aware that any and all contact with a new pair during bonding has to go through and be monitored by the Sentinel-Guide Centre until such a time as the pair has been properly registered, tested and declared compos mentis?"

Tony growls. "Yes. You're telling me, why? If you know we've been contacted you should _maybe talk to the people who contacted us_? Revolutionary thought maybe, I don't know, but instead of compounding the problem you could maybe do your fucking job and make sure it doesn't happen again?"

"Of course," Feenline hastens to agree, tone placating. "We will endeavor to do so. I was merely assigned to inform you that you are perfectly within rights to refuse any and all attempts to contact either of you and that we urge you to do so, for your own good."

"Sure, we'll do that," Tony says sarcastically. "Except your calls, right?"

"The SGC will endeavor to only contact you in case of emergency," Feenline says. "And of course you may always contact us if questions or issues should arise. Have a nice day." She adds quickly before hastily hanging up.

"Bloody fucking hell," Tony curses, turning back to Loki – he doesn't know what he expects, but it's not the hot anger on Loki's face. He pauses, startled, and sits up straight, instinctively reaching out for his Sentinel. "Loki-"

Expression dark, Loki takes Tony's hand and pulls him up and close, almost roughly, into his body. His grip on Tony is tight if not to the point of being painful, but it's the expression on Loki's face that worries Tony. He opens his mouth to say something when he feels a familiar sensation that takes him a moment to place – it's the same feeling he had when Loki took them from the helicarrier to the Malibu house. By the time Tony makes the connection he's already somewhere else – _they're_ already somewhere else.

In a cave.

Tony can't even react to the fact that they moved somewhere else. It feels like his heart skips a beat and the sinking feeling in his chest doesn't exactly make anything easier. Normally he's not exactly okay with reminders of Afghanistan, but he can deal with them – can deal with it. But normally he isn't in a cave and everything slams into him at once; the smell of cool stone, feeling and smelling slightly damp even though it isn't, soft sand under his feet, dusky light conditions that all weight in on the cold feeling that sinks into his bones. For a moment he thinks he hears voices in the distance but that's not possible, not possible.

"Take me out," Tony rasps, fingers clamping down on Loki's wrist. Loki seems startled and doesn't react immediately so Tony repeats, louder, more angry and also more scared, "Take me out of here!"

Loki still blinks with incomprehension but finally reacts, and that weird sort of whirling sensation overtakes Tony again before he finds himself on a beach. He immediately pulls away from Loki and turns his back on him, puts several steps of distance between them as he curls his hands into fists and takes several deep breaths. The noise of the waves crashing onto the shore close by. Along with the smell of salty seawater and moisture on his skin it helps distract him from the memories threatening to overwhelm, but there is dry, cool sand beneath his naked feet and that doesn't, really doesn't. So Tony takes several more steps until the water of the ocean laps at his toes, swirls around his ankles, and then it's better, he's okay, it's fine.

Once he's calmed down somewhat he turns around to Loki, who stands behind him but has respected the distance Tony put between them by not stepping too close. "Never do that again," Tony says quietly. Something in him wants to yell and rage but he can't. His hands are trembling.

Eyes flicking from the ocean to Tony back to the water again, Loki says, "Don't step in any further."

That makes Tony pause; he narrows his eyes and looks around. Beach, okay, but not any he's familiar with. In itself that would be nothing astounding – the world is big and there are a lot of beaches – but the sand is white and fine like it is with tropical beaches, not matching the water at all that's dull and murky and of a greyish green, dark color. The sky is gray as well, an even tone somewhere between light and dark promising neither storm nor sunlight, and the treeline close by is indistinct. It's altogether nothing striking but there is an eerie, otherworldly quality to it all. "We're not on earth anymore, are we?"

Loki raises an eyebrow. "This is not Midgard, no."

Great. Just great. Tony takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "So let me recap. You took me away from my house, my home, without permission or warning, and put me on a different planet?" And this after how difficult it was for him – for both of them – to have Tony leave the house. Tony is too much of a mess to figure out how he feels about that right now, but he has no doubt it will hit him soon – it's probably already contributing to how shaken he feels right now. He's been taken out of his safe environment in the middle of bonding, while he still feels vulnerable and unstable both in himself and with Loki; this can't be a good thing. He doesn't understand how Loki, who is supposed to be territorial as hell, could do this – could leave their territory.

"Nobody knows this place," Loki says.

Well, isn't that great. "Awesome." Closing his eyes, Tony takes a deep breath and tells himself to focus on the important things. "Okay, first of all, that is so not okay I don't even really know where to begin. You don't get to- _whisk_ me away like some damsel in distress, okay? I- why? Why did you do it?"

His Sentinel stands there like a tin soldier, stiff and rigid, with the mulish expression of someone who knows they did wrong but refuses to accept or acknowledge it, much less admit to it, definitely not apologize. "They were taking you away from me."

"…are you serious right now?" Jesus fucking Christ. "I spent the last two weeks almost exclusively with you. I didn't see anybody else in person, I spoke to exactly five people apart from you via the phone, and my number one priority is – has been – you and our bond." But this isn't really about that, and saying it like this isn't right either. "Don't get me wrong, it's for myself just as much as for you, but you don't get to act like… fuck." Pinching the bridge of his nose, Tony takes a moment to think about it because actually, Loki _does_ get to act like that. Fury just threatened them, not just literally but also by invading on them when they were still in seclusion and everybody knows such a thing can have far-reaching consequences. They _already_ have issues about this – abandonment issues, to simplify it – merely because they each of them had them before they even met, and they were still in total seclusion because they needed it. Both their reactions when Loki tried to take Tony outside proves as much, if nothing else. And while most pairs' adjustment to the bond functions on a curve – the most difficulties at the beginning with a gradual and relatively even slope down as time progresses – others aren't as straight forward. There are reports of pairs who had absolutely no problems at the beginning and could even move in a crowd a few days after bonding, only to have increasingly more difficulties over time until they had a late-onset phase of seclusion, after which they were okay again. Tony and Loki are obviously not as extreme as that, but they're also clearly operating somewhat out of the norm. He doesn't know why he's surprised Loki reacted this instinctively and rashly. Maybe the past couple of days of calm and meditation made him too complacent about this.

"Okay." Tony lets out a breath and opens his eyes, faces Loki who is wearing a blank but slightly mulish expression; not a good sign. "Nobody _can_ take me away from you. In the ways that matter I'll always… be yours, okay." Not that Tony really likes the implications of being property nor the romantic connotations, but there is no other way to put it; any sort of qualifier isn't good for Loki to hear right now. This will be difficult enough already with what else he has to say. "But I – _we_ – do have responsibilities, and more than that, I have a _life_. I don't come to you with a blank slate, without baggage, without… just like you very much don't, it's just a natural consequence of finding each other so late. It's not either of our faults, that's just how it is – call it fucking fate or whatever, and don't think I like it, but that's how it is. And the SGC is both of our responsibility. You might not like it – hell, _I_ don't like it some of the time – but I owe them, we both owe them, for a lot of things, not the least of which the laws which are covering both our asses with SHIELD right now. Now, SHIELD is a responsibility we don't strictly speaking have to deal with – but we actually do because of your actions. I'm saying this without any judgment but man, you gave them a lot of grounds for blackmail. If you had never interacted with them even by proxy and all they had to go on was me we'd be golden but that's not the way it is, so we gotta buckle up and deal." Loki's blank face has gone cold but Tony's not having it; these are facts and Loki will owe up to that. "Frankly, I'm not taking any arguments on that one. No matter the reasons behind your actions – and it seems like there is a fuckton of baggage and background to all that, I realize that – from this side, that's how it is. They don't give a fuck otherwise and really, they don't really have to. Man up. _I_ didn't even do anything and because of all this I'll have to make amends on my contract with them to broker compromise for _you_."

To his credit, Loki doesn't make excuses or evasions by bringing up how in the confrontation between Fisher and Fury, Fisher had very clearly said there would be no amendments to anybody's contract. He knows how this sort of thing works, knows politics; you front and eventually you give some ground and hopefully you'll come out on the other side having given less than you were prepared to. But it's very clear that Loki is not pleased with Tony's little speech. Eyes narrowed into cold slits, he growls, "I do not have to bother with these petty Midgardian matters."

"Wrong," Tony growls back, doing his best not to snap. "This is my life, okay, and you're part of that now so you very much do."

Eyes narrowing further, Loki looks at him for a moment. "Not if I don't allow it."

Ah. "No." Tony doesn't even allow himself to think about what's happening right now because if he does he'll do something reckless or stupid or both. "I am not your _property_. I'm yours, but I'm not your possession. You do not get to make decisions for me unless I allow it. You do not get to control me or my life. And you most certainly do not get to give me orders. Are we clear?"

Loki looks at him for a moment, expression fixed. Tony stares back. The only reason he manages to remain calm is because he's too cold inside to have any reaction at all. Eventually, Loki's gaze glides down and away.

It's not giving in, it's not Loki admitting that he made a mistake, but it's enough of a concession for Tony to give a little as well. He stays where he is, water lapping at his feet, but he lets some of the steel leave his voice and expression. "Is that really how you wanna play it, Loki?"

Loki closes his eyes, and when he opens them again he looks lost, scared. And instead of hiding either he meets Tony's eyes straight on, allowing him to see what he must perceive as weakness. "No."

Thank god. Crisis mostly averted – at least this particular one in the middle of at least one other crisis they're in right now – Tony allows his shoulders to sag a little. "Okay." He takes a deep breath even though he knows he won't be calming down anytime soon, especially not once the implications of what just almost happened hit him.

"Look." He takes a step towards Loki, away from the water. Loki makes no motion to touch him but his whole body turns towards Tony, opens up for him, and that's encouragement enough for now. "I get that you're... worried." Except, no. They can't afford to be unclear right now, not with what's happening – what almost happened. "You're scared." That's what the gnawing feeling in his gut is. Good to know.

Loki frowns, looks ready to deny and protest, but Tony is not having it right now. "Loki, please. I need for you to be honest and not hide from me. Look at me."

Immediately Loki's gaze drops to the ground, so Tony breaches the remaining distance between them and puts a hand on his face, tilts it up until Loki has to and does meet his eyes. "Tell me," Tony says quietly.

For a moment Loki just looks at him, not quite searchingly but something like it. Eventually he closes his eyes and seems to give in. When he opens his eyes again they're empty; pained and resigned, but mostly empty. "You will leave," he says.

"No," Tony denies immediately, instinctively. He needs no time to think about it; that's inconceivable. "Never."

But Loki doesn't look like he believes him. "You will," he says with a calm surety that is completely out of place here and that's truly terrifying to Tony.

"No," he says again, louder, and leans into the last bit of space between them until his body is pushing against Loki's. "I won't. Ever." Loki opens his mouth and looks like he's about to protest again, but Tony interrupts. "No! Stop saying that, you're scaring me."

And maybe there is something for talking about emotions like that after all because that shakes Loki's resolve somewhat, makes him put one arm around Tony and settle his hand into the small of his back. "But you-" Loki looks scared, vulnerable, but doesn't continue, remains firmly closed up to Tony.

"Loki, please." Tony sneaks one hand under Loki's shirt so he can touch his skin, needing the physical contact even if he has no intention of using his other senses while he's so upset. "Please."

Loki takes a shaky breath. "I'm not... you don't deserve me. You deserve somebody far better."

That's not quite it, Tony doesn't think, but it touches on the issue and it's maybe close enough for now. "I don't believe that, but even if it were true, Loki... I don't _want_ anybody else. I didn't remain unbonded this long because nobody wanted me."

Loki's face goes dark at that and he tightens his grip on his Guide. Clearly he doesn't like that thought, so he probably isn't trying to... break up with Tony or something, even though that wouldn't be possible to begin with. But if Loki really wanted to be away from Tony, Tony would do his best to make it happen. He would never force Loki to be with him.

But Loki doesn't look like he truly wants away. He looks like the guy who is about to make a huge sacrifice and give something very important to himself up for the better of somebody else. "Tony, I'm not... I'm not anybody. I'm nothing."

"No you're not," Tony protests immediately. "If nothing else, you're my Sentinel."

"And I don't understand that," Loki says. "How this can even be possible when I-"

"When you what?" Tony asks. He originally decided not to ask Loki any questions but he can't anymore, not when whatever is Loki's problem has gotten so huge that this happened – that Loki panicked so much that he took the both of them away to another planet. A planet that is so dangerous that Tony can't go even ankle-deep into the water and that Loki always has to bodily put himself between him and the strangely quiet forest.

Loki doesn't reply. His expression has closed; he's not going to say anything.

Tony takes a deep breath and thinks about it, thinks about everything that just happened. He still feels off-balance, unsafe, but he can understand why Loki freaked out so hard. It started with Fury very clearly threatening them, was compounded by Tony talking to Fisher and Fisher talking to Fury – both situations in which Loki couldn't do anything to protect them, made worse by the fact that he doesn't really understand why he has to play by their rules when he considers them so clearly beneath him – and then both Pepper and the SGC called to further intrude upon them. Today really didn't go well, and it all started with Fury trying to bully his way into their relationship. There is no doubt in Tony's mind that Fury did it on purpose, knowing they'd be unbalanced and unstable still.

He really hopes the SGC will give him hell for that and makes a mental note to check up on that, and to make sure that Fisher uses her iron grip on Fury's balls. Just thinking about it, about the consequences it might have for their relationship makes Tony so angry he can barely breathe for a moment.

But he keeps a lid on it and takes a couple of deep breaths; this is really not the time nor the place for that.

He doesn't really know what to do. He could tell Loki to take him back but he worries that Loki will close up completely to him again. As long as they're here, an environment Loki vaguely controls or at least knows really well – otherwise there is no way his instincts would have allowed him to take his Guide here, especially in the state he's had to have been in when he took Tony away and sometime soon Tony is going to have to figure out if he just really sucks as a Guide or if there is another reason why he just can't easily access Loki's emotions without trying – Loki might be a little more willing to open up to him.

Where to start, though? Tony thinks about it for a moment, lines up all the questions he wants to ask his Sentinel. Well-aware that directly referring to the huge issue Loki doesn't even vaguely touch will get him nowhere and get him there fast, Tony focuses on something more recent that bothers him very much. Loki said it it before he said something that came dangerously close to Loki saying that he doesn't think he's a Sentinel, which means that he can't be Tony's mate, but if Tony thinks about that he's going to completely freak out, no matter how much he knows it to be not true. His nerves are frayed enough already after everything that happened in the past few hours.

Clearing his throat, he says quietly, "You said that you're nothing."

Loki tenses, the muscles of his belly going hard under Tony's hand.

They both breathe quietly for a moment until Tony makes another foray, hoping to nudge Loki into talking to him about _something_. "What did you mean?"

Loki takes a shuttering breath that he lets out with forced calm. "I suppose you deserve to know." He struggles with it, that much is clear, but eventually he manages to speak. "I hold no position anywhere," he says very quietly. "I have no status. I am... I might very well be charged and punished for what I did before I came here. You will be... you would be a lot better without me."

"No I won't," Tony denies immediately; it's an instinctual response as much as it's true. "I wouldn't be, Loki, I really wouldn't. Even leaving everything else aside, once it has been formed, a bond cannot be broken. Without you to anchor me I'd deteriorate and eventually go insane and then die. Not to mention that the same would happen to you if we were separated. There is a reason pair bond interference is such a serious infraction."

Loki closes his eyes, expression pained as he digests that. "Everything else?" he eventually whispers.

It takes Tony a moment to figure out what he means, but of course Loki would focus on that out of everything Tony said. He takes a breath. "Okay, look, I like you. You're kind of an asshole, you're funny, you're smart and all the hormones and crap aside I enjoy your company. Doesn't hurt that you're hot as burning, either." Tony clears his throat. "So, even if it weren't for all this I'm sure I'd want you around."

For a long moment Loki remains silent, just leaning his forehead against Tony's and breathing, grounding both of them. Eventually, he quietly speaks. "I... am sorry. For taking you away like this without your consent."

Tony huffs. "I'm sort of amazed you feel safer here than you do in my house, I mean if the water is so dangerous I can't do more than dip my toes inside and there's something wrong with the forest as well, am I right?" But while he was speaking he had a sort of epiphany. "But that's it, isn't it? It's my house, not yours. You've been prowling around restlessly and I thought you were checking up on your territory but that's not really it, is it? You've been trying to familiarize yourself."

"It smells like you, and like us now," Loki admits. "When we first came it smelled unused, empty. There was the afterimage of other people and you, but not like... not like a home." He takes a moment to breathe. "Your world, it's so packed. There are people everywhere. Here, there is nobody. Nobody has ever been. This place, it's mine. I know every corner of it, and it knows me."

That's what Tony gets for never coming to the house. But he doesn't see how he could have – doesn't know he could have dealt making his actual home(s) as Sentinel safe as the house. The pain was bad enough already with the constant awareness that he was empty and untethered, abandoned and waiting like a forgotten piece of luggage at the airport; he didn't need to make his home reflect that as well.

"And everybody kept intruding." Tony thinks about it for a moment. "We can't stay here, though, you know that, right?"

Loki's had cups the back of Tony's head, cradling him close. It's stupid how large his hands are, and how much Tony likes it. How could he go through almost two decades of having sex without being aware of his predilection for big hands? "I cannot... you keep saying we owe this organization and that we have to make nice with those people, and they keep trying or at the very least planning to manipulate you – or worse, use me to harm you. I understand why, I know politics, but it... grates. Without you to consider, I would never allow them to treat me like this. And I truly loathe that I have to allow them to treat _you_ like this."

There's not much Tony can say to that. It sucks, but that's life, and Tony supposes all things considered, Loki is dealing with it comparably well.

"I do not..." Loki continues after a moment, surprising Tony. He really hasn't been very open or particularly keen on talking about himself after he gave Tony the bare bones of who he is. "Normally, I do not bother with these mortal matters. I do not bother with _mortals_. They are convenient to satisfy idle curiosity and some I have met have been interesting enough to capture my attention for a time, but I do not allow them to control me, or manipulate me, or have any impact at all on my life. They are... ephemeral. They're exasperatingly young for too long, and then after a brief time of interim they become too old and fragile to bother with. And now I have to- _not you_." Suddenly Loki's eyes are wide and his voice urgent; clearly he realized what he just said. And Tony did notice that Loki didn't include him in his not exactly love declaration to the human race, but that doesn't mean it felt at all good to hear what Loki thinks. Especially since Tony is still human – mortal – and might or might not remain so. "Tony," Loki says, cupping Tony's face with both hands and taking care to look him in the eyes. "Not you. I am not talking about you. You are... you are interesting and fascinating and intelligent and attractive on more than one level, and you continue to captivate my attention. I am and was not talking about you."

Loki means it, that much is obvious, if only because of how worried he is and how hard he tries to make sure that Tony knows that he isn't included in Loki's Ode to Humanity's Meaninglessness. It makes no sense and a portion of denial might be at play here, but unless some accident happens Tony isn't likely to die anytime soon so this isn't really one of their more urgent issues. So he nods. "Okay, yeah. I believe you. I get it."

Expression a little pinched, Loki nods and then leans in to kiss Tony on the lips, letting the contact linger a little before pulling back and kissing him on the forehead a little briefer. Only then does he continue. "I am not used to and certainly not fond of having to... of being subject to their petty games, of having to engage in them. It is a necessity and I see that, but I don't cherish it, and it is... difficult."

"I get that," Tony says quietly, gently rubbing tiny circles in Loki's belly. This is the most Loki has talked to him yet about what's going on inside of him.

"It's not made easier," Loki continues haltingly, "ever since I..." He takes a deep breath; this clearly is the most difficult part of what he's so far told Tony. "I am not Thor's brother," he finally says, and yes, he mentioned that before, Tony knows he's adopted. "Thor is... he is a Prince of Asgard. Asgard is the most powerful of all the realms, and her King is revered, his advice sought after, and her Princes... Prince. I was raised to believe I was one of two, equals, but as it turns out, I am not. I always knew the equality was a lie, but I did not know my belonging to Asgard's royalty was one as well."

Tony frowns. It's clear this is a huge deal but he's not quite getting the magnitude of what Loki is saying. Sure, it must suck to find out you're not a prince after all, but Loki didn't strike him as that much of a spoiled brat. Arrogant, sure, with something of a superiority complex (though who can blame him? There is literally a whole religion devoted to him and his kind), definitely, but not that. "How? When did you find out?"

"Recently." Loki takes a deep breath. "As a matter of fact, less than two weeks before we met. As to how... I am not even... very kindly put, I have been fostered. Realistically and factually put, I am one of the Allfather's spoils of war, stolen from- during a war during which he thoroughly defeated the enemy, after my begetter abandoned me to die for my flaws shortly after my birth."

Okay, whoa, that's huge. There is so much in that handful of sentences that it takes Tony a moment to sort through it all. First of all, Loki's biological father considered him flawed and left him to die, which would be awful enough for anyone to find out. Then, the man Loki believed to be his father all his life not only turned out not to be his biological father after all – and this part Tony knew, but he clearly underestimated it very much – but also never was nor intended to be his father; instead Loki was something of a trophy, to rub the enemy's apparently crushing defeat in. Which, wow, that's a whole new level of douchebaggery. Tony does know that in ancient times people would sometimes do that, the victor taking the children of the losing side's rulers to raise them, and he always thought that that must be especially grating to the losing side, but he never really thought about what it would be like for the children. And Loki didn't even know, which must be really awful for him. And what was that little titbit Loki dropped earlier, about him and Thor being raised as equals but it never having been true?

Yeah, there's just too much for Tony to really make heads or tails of it now, he needs some time to think about the consequences and what it really means, especially for Loki. So he focuses on the easiest but certainly not most harmless of the things Loki just revealed to him. "Why were you left to die?" And Jesus, Loki said it happened just after his birth, that's really cruel.

"For..." Loki takes a deep breath; this is clearly a difficult subject for him and fuck, that's no surprise. "I do not know the specific reasons; I can only speculate. Perhaps they sensed the flaws in me from the beginning. Certainly, for a member of the realm I was born in, I was at the very least... crippled. Too small, too weak."

Tony absorbs that for a moment. To him Loki is pretty much perfect and he doesn't think that's an entirely subjective point of view either. He's sure he'd be hard-pressed to find a person who'd call Loki _crippled_. "Alright, so clearly your biological father fucked up big time. What do you mean, the flaws in you?"

Loki is frowning, but it looks thoughtful rather than angry. "I suppose... I am not as flawed as I and those who know me had originally believed."

"Okay, what does that mean?" One thing is certain: Tony really doesn't like this premise that Loki is _flawed_. Just the prospect makes him angry, and he can't even think about Loki treating himself and being treated that way, with that assumption, all his life.

"You said I am a Sentinel, and you keep saying that things are natural and... normal. I didn't..."

"Oh," Tony makes as it dawns on him. "You didn't know."

Loki nods. "Nobody did."

And of course Tony had known that before; hell, he's been explaining stuff to Loki ever since they met. Not that he minded at all, but right now he feels really dumb for never realizing the consequences. He thought about it, yes, but it's only now that it hits him just what exactly it must have been like for Loki. Yes, it sucked for Tony, but at least he had some sort of support network and something to fall back on, and if it's only _knowing_ what's wrong with him. Loki didn't have that; he had all of the disadvantage with none of the at least vaguely mitigating circumstances, that Tony never really knew just how much he appreciated them until now.

"Oh, darling," he sighs, cupping Loki's face with both hands and pulling him in for a kiss, and then even closer, pushing Loki's face into his neck. He knows that Loki draws comfort from that and seriously, Loki needs all the comfort he can get. Tony clearly underestimated just this and he wonders what else he didn't take serious enough.

"Don't patronize me." The words sound impatient but Loki's tone of voice doesn't follow through.

"I'm not," Tony argues, but gently. "I just understand you better now."

They stay silent for a while, keeping still. Loki's face remains buried in Tony's neck as he breathes his Guide's smell in while Tony slowly combs his fingers through Loki's silky hair. Eventually, Tony takes a breath and speaks quietly. "So, how about we go back? I can take you to my real home but it'll smell more of people and really will not be remote at all." The middle of Manhattan is pretty much the opposite of remote, really, but maybe Loki can deal with it.

"People?" Loki inquires calmly, but his face stays in Tony's neck.

"Yeah, you could say that. Hundreds within your range." His apartment might be a penthouse in an area where people can afford to pay New York's exorbitant prices per luxury square foot but Loki's range isn't exactly small, Tony knows that much even if they haven't officially tested it yet.

"That's... maybe not a very good idea yet," Loki says. "Especially not right now. My patience and temper are frayed. Besides, the house is not bad. It was a little off-putting at the beginning but by now it smells of us, of you and me, and I feel mostly in control of it."

When they first met, Loki would never have talked so openly; wouldn't even have known enough about himself to be able to. But he has learned about things like territory and is starting to learn to acknowledge and accept his instincts. It's a slow process, especially after Loki has spent so long denying and suppressing what he perceived as weird, irrational urges, but especially the meditating they've been doing the past week has helped. Tony is really proud and he can't help smiling widely at Loki to express it.

"Okay, whatever you want." He licks his lips. "I can tell JARVIS to completely refuse all communication, not just non-essential ones." He really should have done that at the beginning and has no idea why he didn't. It was stupid, and he has no illusions that with that, he played a part in the events that led to Loki's freak-out. Loki still should have communicated his needs better but clearly he's getting there, it was a high-stress situation and it's just a fact that neither Sentinels nor Guides are particularly rational during bonding. All in all, this incident is a bump in the road but nothing too bad.

"That would probably be good," Loki says dryly.

"Okay." Tony blinks and nothing happens; he looks around. "...so. Aren't you going to take us back?"

"In a minute," Loki murmurs. He's nuzzling Tony's neck and seems content enough where he is.

Tony, well, isn't. The fact that Loki feels safer here than he does in his house should be enough for him to know that it's safe here and he does trust that, but this isn't exactly a welcoming place. The ocean looks uninviting and must be dangerous, the forest looks ominous and like at any moment, it could spew out some sort of many-clawed, sabre-toothed monster, and the sky looms threateningly above them. It's probably telling that Loki feels safer here than he probably does anywhere else, and that alone scares Tony in a way. But he supposes if Loki is happy here, they can stay a while. At least it's not really cold.

Eventually Loki shifts and pulls Tony closer, wraps both arms around him, one around the waist, the other his back, until Tony is really safely encased in his hold. Then he takes a deep breath and returns them to the house. The carpet under Tony's still sandy toes has never felt so good.

"JARVIS, complete lock-up, code artichoke, and mute."

There is no outward sign that anything happened at all, but Tony knows JARVIS did as he was told and as per protocol won't speak up again unless an absolute emergency happens, like a tsunami approaching the coast, an impending invasion, a nuclear bomb, something like that. No Fury, no Pepper, no board of directors, not even the president could contact him right now. …excepting the SGC, of course. But Tony sure hopes they know better after today's disaster.

"What do you say," he says after a moment. "Bath?"

"Very well."

Loki's ready agreement sparks in Tony the idle thought that he has no idea if Loki actually likes the frequent bathing. It could very well be that he's just happy about the opportunity to see Tony naked. The reverse might be as much as a consideration in Tony's suggestion as the need to wash off today's events.

Loki looks as good wet as he always does, and he pretty much dotes on Tony, sticking close, shampooing his hair, soaping up his body and taking the opportunity to get in the occasional grope. Tony returns the favor but, even though it's getting harder and harder to resist, doesn't allow for things to go any further. Once they're dry and dressed again Tony briefly considers food but ultimately decides that a round of meditation is of more importance right now. They made up and even resolved some issues, cleared some stuff up, yes, but they're both still a little out of sorts and the past couple of days have shown him just how much meditation can help.

Perfectly amendable to Tony's suggestion, Loki settles on the bed, still shirtless, and pats the space in front of him that he's already vaguely curved around. Taking the hint, Tony climbs after him and settles there, back pressed to Loki's front, Loki's arm loosely wrapped around his waist and Tony's arm on top of Loki's. Once they're comfortable they go quiet and still.

Tony gives them some time to settle, for their heartbeats to slow down, breathing to deepen. There's just something incredibly comfortable about being so close to Loki, about sharing space and touching so much. It's bonding hormones at their best but who cares when it feels so good?

Every one of Loki's exhale is a gentle breeze on the back of his neck and Tony concentrates on that, on the relaxed rhythm of it as he allows his awareness of the bond to grow. With the practice he's gotten in since the SGC person encouraged him it comes relatively easily now, isn't as much of an effort anymore as it used to be. As the connection between them becomes more active their minds align and their bodies with them; an automatic side-effect that Tony barely spares more than a thought to. Instead he focuses on the feel of Loki's mind so close to his, allows some of himself to mingle with Loki.

He doesn't go deep, doesn't make it a journey of exploration; just a comparably loose connection between them, too deep to be called superficial or shallow but nowhere as strong or deep as when he mapped Loki for the first time. This is enough to settle them, feeling Loki's contentment, his happiness even, under the vague lethargy and tendrils of exhaustion that are a natural result of the emotional rollercoaster the day has been, not to mention the physical energy it took for Loki to transport them to places. But that's just an afterthought, nothing more. What mostly occupies Loki right now are things relating to Tony – fear that he's going to lose him, a fierce protectiveness and jealous possessiveness, vague regret that they didn't stay on that other planet where nobody will try to take anything of Tony's that Loki claims for himself, and if it's only his attention.

Really, Loki is not fucking around today, but Tony... well, he likes it. Nobody has ever felt like that about him, not even a little. Everybody knows better than to fall in love with somebody who's waiting for their soulmate . Ultimately that's good, Tony wouldn't even have wanted a relationship anyway that would only make the void in him more obvious for how it would pale in comparison to the bond he needed to fill it. But it's still made for a rather lonely life so far, and the things Loki is feeling about him are pretty much a guarantee that he'll never be alone like that again. Rationally he knows that he won't anyway, but this is tangible evidence and more calming than any logic and facts that he has. If anything else were concerned but his Sentinel, this kind of thinking would be appalling to him, but since there isn't he doesn't mind, it doesn't matter.

Sure, he does know that it'll make for problems at one point. It has already, example today, but Tony isn't worried. He won't let Loki smother him, that's just not who he is. He won't lose himself to this, no matter how much he likes it. Besides, right now it's not that much of an issue, and after the crap they've both been through all their lives they deserve to be irrational and overbearing about each other for a while. Tony has no doubt that they'll settle down eventually.


End file.
